Our youth were shouting loud and clear through their actions, “help me know how to deal with the feelings that I have”. In the absence of a helpful answer they were turning to behaviors that are biologically known to numb the brain. They were turning to alcohol, drugs and sex. Our youth even came up with our new organizational tag line … “Do Something”. They wanted help and we wanted to answer the call but we knew we had to dig deeper and we needed to start sooner.
Dr. Ann Corwin, a parenting and attachment expert, introduced YouthThink to emotional literacy. She shared that feelings are biological and that whenever a feeling comes a behavior will follow. It’s just that simple yet also so complicated because often we do not really know what our feelings are and may choose unhealthy ways to deal with those feelings. Dr. Corwin has created an amazing tool for parents to share with their children which focuses on increasing emotional literacy; this tool focuses on 3 key steps:
This tool introduces children to “Otus and the Wise Guys”. “Otus” is the wise owl that helps children learn to “do something” about the 16 core feelings (“Wise Guys”) that we all could use some extra help in learning to deal with. Through the utilization of this tool we began to realize that we had the potential to create a potential “vaccine” against harmful future behaviors. This SEL “vaccine” could eventually help prevent adverse childhood experiences.
We concentrate on making sure our children know their colors or are able to sing the alphabet song before they enter kindergarten, but do they know how to stop or deal with the feeling of frustration and or boredom? Do we brag about how they can operate a ‘smart phone’ but neglect the time to provide the real ingredients necessary for attachment; touch, talk and eye contact?
The “A-ha” moments continued and YouthThink launched the T2T Parent Boot Camp project. In just two short hours parents were able to gain an understanding of emotional literacy and begin practicing on their own at home. Parents were enthused. One parent shared, “I found a lot of value from the knowledge gained from the boot camp and I have a much better understanding of how extremely crucial it is as a parent to be aware and be educated so that we can do our best to provide exactly what our children need”.
Our parents understand that they are not able to control every situation that their children find themselves in, but they can promote the understanding of their feelings in those situations by developing the skill set needed to know how to deal and “do something” with the way that they feel. By so doing they are empowering their children to choose the behaviors that will promote positive relationships with everyone. This will give them the ability to “bounce back” when the curve balls of life come their way.
The majority of parents indicated that they were excited to share what they learned from Boot Camp with their children but they also felt that they personally needed to use it first … for their own emotional literacy development. Those statements got us thinking. Was there more we could do?
At the same time that YouthThink was learning about emotional literacy, our local school district began to stress the importance of trauma informed care and introduced us to ACE’s. We were intrigued with the science and research that indicated that the more ACE’s one had the more likely they were to suffer mental and or physical health issues later in life. We realized that many of our parents were coming to our boot camps with an inner desire to heal and deal with their own traumatic experiences. One parent shared that she thought this SEL tool would be great for her daughter but that she was the one that really needed it. She wanted to find a new way to deal with her own feelings of disappointment and mad so that her daughter would not experience the same type of adverse childhood experiences she had.
At YouthThink we have come to believe that in incorporating our knowledge of emotional literacy (SEL) and ACE’s we can better provide the “bounce back” skill of resiliency necessary for our children to thrive and help determine how our biography (what has happened to us) becomes our biology (our mental and physical health outcomes). And who knows, with the magic of social emotional learning and understanding of Adverse Childhood Experience, just maybe, that three year old child who learns about “Otus and the Wise Guys” will be the one who is able to heal an emotional trauma that has plagued his ancestors for centuries and rewrites the history for generations to come.
Dr. Ann Corwin
The Parenting Doctor